Green, Green, my #$%@& is green!

Okay, I know this "Green" blog would have been more timely had it been posted yesterday on St. Patty's Day (ah, the luck o' the Irish!) but I was too busy trying to find just the right green, eco-conscious food coloring for my guests organic beer to write this then.

But actually this writer is not even thinking about the fake Irish holiday that drinkers (posers!) from the world over claim as their own come every March 17th.  This rant is about a whole other set of posers: those businesses, entities and individuals who claim to be changing their ways of doing things, their procedures, the very way they live in order to save the planet.  You hear them cry it from the mountaintops on TV, radio, magazines, internet, everywhere.  I say "thou protest too much"!

So let's start with one of the largest culprits: the banks and utility companies that we used to write a check to every month.  Okay, so I get it that it is easier for ME to pay online, to not have to order/pay for checks, postage, etc every month (even though both of my banks give me unlimited FREE checks!).  But, HELL NO, I don't want online bank statements to save THEM paper, even if THEY are supposedly doing it in the name of "saving trees and energy".  B.S.  THEY don't want to have to pay for the paper, the printing, the postage, the manpower.  So now THEY think THEY are going to transfer that problem (i.e. COST) to me, right?  Wrong!  I still demand my paper copy be mailed to me so that I DON'T HAVE TO PAY for paper, ink and my time.  The IRS sure as heck doesn't want to peer at my computer screen during an audit....I know the hard way.  They want a nice hard copy in their hand, and it is preferable from THE COMPANY that issued it.  So, use recycled paper and ink and whatever you have to do, but please, please, please send me my hard copy Mr. Company.

Everywhere I turn I see people and companies cutting corners in the name of "saving the environment".  Again I cry foul.  Look, someone's going to have to print out that document or photo on paper with ink, so I say "better you than me".  And no, these people/companies do not intend to lower their rates with all their newfound savings, right?

And then there are just those who are riding the bandwagon to try to drum up positive marketing.  They claim to run their business in an earth-conscious way, like leaving certain lights off during work hours and other cutbacks.  Yeah right!   How about being honest and just saying that you are trying to cut costs on those huge electric bills....oh, unless it is a public building, and then go ahead and keep wasting taxpayer money so someone doesn't sue you for eyestrain for having to work in dim lighting.  Kind of reminds me of all the high level politicians who flew their individual private jets into the recent conference in Europe for "global warming".  Way to cut on CO2 emissions UN!

So stop leaning on "the cause" and call a spade a spade.  You are trimming the fat in your budget, and figured out that if that one airline could save $40,000/year by leaving off the single olive from the salad they served in flight, then think how many millions could be saved by a company like AT&T by not sending paper bills every month to it's kazillions of subscribers.  Again, too bad they don't pass the savings on to us.  But to anyone who has purchased ink cartridges for their printers you know how it is tres, tres expensive.

Next time you see someone marketing themselves as eco-friendly, etc. please look at their motives.  That would be like me telling casting directors and producers that I don't have headshots for them cause I don't want to waste paper and instead want to save the trees.  Those that already aren't digital with their photos (which THEY PRINT OUT by the way) would laugh me out of their office.

Oh, and by the way, I conveyed all this through an online blog because I didn't want to waste paper....see, I'm eco-friendly too!  :)_

Rainy Days And Mondays

It happens every time.  Even though we know it's coming.  Even though it happens every year.  Even though it's winter here in normally sunny Southern California.  I guess people really do believe, like Albert Hammond wrote in his hit song "It Never Rains In Southern California", that it doesn't.  Cause they sure act like it's unexpected and certainly don't know how to drive it in.


Today is Monday, and it rained all last night and into the afternoon.   A small storm I guess some would call it.  And then it became a little drizzle.  But the minds of the locals were set, and it was war.

We prepare for a little drizzle like we're going into battle.  We drive like "little old ladies from Pasadena" who have crippling cataracts and no sight or sense reflexes.  What are certainly little puddles to North Easterners are like mammoth lakes to us Los Angeleans.  Oh, here comes another "puddle"; I must swerve to avoid it.    I must have seen 5 accidents today, and I drove a mind-boggling 8 miles round trip, because people swerved, skidded, lost their minds in the rain.

I, myself, love the rain.  I even went bike riding at the beach yesterday in the sprinkles....because it was different, and cause sometimes I march to a different drummer.  And maybe because it is cleansing.  It is so beautiful after the city is washed clean....things come alive and are bright again.  And I know that somewhere up in the mountains, way up north, we are gathering precious water once again for the coming year, and snow for winter sports.

No hurricanes, no typhoons....just some lovely and welcome seasonal rain.  Get the wiper blades ready for the next onslaught of storms because, if you're like me and watch the weather reports, you already know there are more coming.  Don't you?!  So don't act surprised, and just DRIVE!